My Girls

Yes, it's like having 2 life sized dolls to dress up! I LOVE IT!!!!

Meat and Potatoes Kind of Gal

We had a doctor's appointment today. We are now on our....5th type of formula. We've been though both powder and liquid of a few types. (That's in addition to 2 different types of bottles and 7 different types of nipples.) Little Miss Eliana does not have a good time going poo-poo and well, she's just a pretty stinky gal! So our pediatrician switched her to a formula that is supposed to be gentle to her digestive system. Keep your fingers crossed.

Despite her digestive problems, she is gaining weight! She weighed 9 pounds (fully clothed) this morning! We haven't been feeding her meat and potatoes though.

Point Taken

Eliana is really developing quite a personality. Last night at our 2:00 AM feeding, she kept falling asleep while eating. So, I kept jiggling her around and moving the bottle. She had almost finished her bottle and was sound asleep. I wanted her to finish so I took the bottle out to reposition her and hopefully wake her up. Apparantly, she was unhappy about the whole situation and she spit a mouthful of formula in my face! I didn't make her finish the bottle.

Smiles

Of course, her guard dog has to make sure everything is ok.

Eliana has been smiling at me for about a week now. NO! It's not gas! I just couldn't get a picture and make her smile at the same time. I finally caught her at it while she was laying in her little gym. She's also trying to talk too but it just comes out sounding like fake cries.

Eliana's Debut

I finally had the opportunity to take Ellie with me to drop Sasha off at school. Everyone has been waiting to see her and we didn't have any visitors yesterday to babysit. It was fun picking out her outfit! She got to wear real clothes instead of pj's and gowns.

Ok--3 posts in one day should hold you over for a little while.

Oh and while you are waiting for me to update, take a look at the blog "A Leap of Faith". They are on their way home from Russia with their son! Congratulations!!!

We are on sort of a schedule.

Here it is:

Mommy sits down.---> Eliana is hungry/needs to be changed/fussy/crying.

Mommy falls asleep finally.----> Eliana is hungry/needs to be changed/fussy/crying.

Mommy tries to take a shower.----> Eliana is hungry/needs to be changed/fussy/crying.

Mommy tries to make dinner.----> Well, you get the point.

But I'm LOVING every minute of it! We are having gas problems. Not me, personally, but Ellie is having gas problems which means I'm having sympathy gas problems. We've already switched formula, bottles, nipples (many, many nipples---the word nipple has a whole new meaning now) and we're thinking about switching formula again. We are going to see the pediatrician on Monday morning.

Like Father, Like Daughters

I thought Eliana looked so much like her Daddy in this picture. All I had to do was add the remote control!


It's so funny that when we first brought Sasha home, it was all we could do to have her watch only 5 minutes of television. Now, she wants to watch it all day long! NO! Of course we don't let her do that!

Eliana just looked so much like her Daddy, all I had to do was add the remote control!

Sorry!

I'm busy. NO time for updates. :)

Update:

Didi (my mom) was here for a week and a FANTABULOUSFUL help! Thanks Didi!

Aunt Kerri (my sister) was here for 5 days and was also a FANTABULOUSLFUL help. I expected nothing less from her after 3 kids! She had to leave a day early because Uncle Frank hurt his back. Men just can't live without us, can they? I do wonder if Aunt Kerri is the Super Nanny. Somehow, she put Sasha to sleep on the sofa. Sasha NEVER falls asleep unless it's bedtime or she's in the car at naptime.

Great Nanny also came to visit. She was a little late because she ended up with a bad case of bronchitis but she did make it and we hope she comes back soon. We're lucky because Great Nanny only lives about 40 minutes away and she has promised that she will come by soon and let Mommy take a nap! Then, she will be the GREATEST Nanny!

Pictures here

Look Out Daddy!

We all can't wait until we can go shopping together.

All Gone!

Finally, her umbilical cord fell off last night! For some strange reason, Matt saved it for me. Definitely not what I wanted to see at 3:00 this morning! So, we'll be able to give her a real bath.
Pictures of her last sponge bath and then some

HOLD ON A MINUTE!

A little background information: Murray and Dudley are petrified of the smoke detectors beeping. When it happens, they shake and run to me. If I'm sitting down, they both climb onto my lap. If I'm standing up, they will scratch at my legs until I pick them up.

This morning, a battery died in the smoke detector in our bedroom. It started beeping. So of course, Murray and Dudley ran to me which wasn't a big deal but then Sasha joined them. Ok, I can handle 2 dogs and a 4 year old. I'm sure you can guess where this is headed. Eliana decided just as I was bringing in the ladder to change the battery, that she was hungry. She decided she was hungry RIGHT NOW!

I settled her down and then continued to change the battery. It didn't work. I think if Dudley could have climbed the ladder, he would have.

Oh, by the way, during all of this, Matt wasn't home! We are now fed, dressed (not me of course) calm and relaxed. The smoke detector, after beeping for an hour, is also fixed.

Phew!

Are you kidding me?

Our washer stopped working last night. Yes, our washing machine has decided to stop spinning. There is a load of dripping wet towels in there right now. I'm sure the poor thing is just so tired since we've probably done a billion loads of laundry in the past 2 weeks. But, it could have waited to break until I was done washing all of Eliana's new clothes.

I called Sears to schedule a repair and the soonest someone could come out would have been January 29! Today is January 18. Yes, that's right, we would have had to wait 10 days with a new baby and no washing machine. I don't think so.

I called someone listed as a "Former Sears Repairman" in a local newspaper ad. He's due to arrive any minute now. Phew!

SO BIG!

We took Eliana to the pediatrician yesterday for her 2 week check-up. She hasn't gotten taller but she now weighs 7 pounds 2 ounces. We were so proud to tell the doctor that she has only spit up one time. And, of course, Ellie spit up 3 times while we were there! At her next visit, one month check-up, she'll get a shot. I'm not sure how I'll handle that.

She's eating more and sleeping on a good schedule, only waking up every 3-4 hours. Now, if I could just get my body to fall back to sleep at our middle of the night feeding, I'd be feeling great!

She is 2 weeks old today! Happy 2 week birthday, Eliana!

Diana Ross

Someone in our house, I'm not naming any names, likes to pee a lot. This certain someone, likes to pee AFTER you take her diaper off. Today, this person did it to me twice...in a row! Her diaper was wet and being the good mommy that I am, I changed her. As soon as I removed the diaper, she got very quiet and then I saw why. She was peeing. Since the changing table was wet, I moved her to the bed where she very quietly peed AGAIN!

Seriously, she's had more outfit changes today than Diana Ross.

How about that?

I was the 12,000th visitor! 12,000? Really? I'm honored.

Go me!

Baby Shower

Had my first, BABY shower today. It was nice to finally be able to say, "Ooohs and Aaaahhhhs" over my baby stuff!

Sasha also enjoyed the shower and received many presents for herself, too.

At one point, we opened an exersaucer and Sasha said, "Oh wow! We really needed a box!"

A TON of pictures here if you are interested.

Not good

It's never a good thing, when you pick up your baby and her diaper falls off! Fortunately, it was just a wet diaper and not a poopy, although she did finish going today on the changing table after I removed her diaper. Oh well.....that's life.

BREAKING NEWS

Small change....Forget the Babies R Us Registry.

I am now registered at Barnies Coffee.

Rocket Science

Well, it's not exactly rocket science but it was pretty close. We gave Eliana her first sponge bath yesterday. She loved the water pouring on her head but that was about all she liked.

More pictures here

Funny

After that post, I need a little humor.

1. Thought I'd change Ellie on the bed. She peed the second I took off her diaper...on the sheets.

2. Got out of the shower today, got dressed, all nice and clean, Ellie was all dressed and pretty and then she spit up on both of us!

3. Had her diaper off to change her, got her all cleaned up, put diaper rash cream on her, had her new diaper under her tushy and she decided to go poo-poo again.

4. Had her diaper off to change her, she peed all over the changing table, and her clean jammies.

I know this list will grow and grow for the rest of my life. No problem!

Just so you know (warning---very long and sappy)

I emailed a new friend who has just started a domestic adoption. She wanted to know what it was like in the hospital. I also know there are so many stereotypes and bad "Made for TV" movies about adoption and I want everyone to realize what adoption is really like. It's so important to remember that the birthmother is a large part of the process. It's not just about the parents and the baby/child. If the birthmother hadn't made such a selfless decision, there would be no adoption.

So here are some excerpts (and more) of my email:

The birthmom wanted to spend time alone with the baby on the first day but we went to visit on Saturday for a few hours with Sasha. It was so nice but I still held back on my emotions. I didn't want to get attached. At one point on Saturday, I was holding the baby and I said something to her like, "You just don't know who this strange lady is moving you all around." The birthmom looked at me and said, "You are not a strange lady, you are her mommy." Later on, the birthmom's mother came over while I was holding the baby and said that she and the bmom were talking and both realized (on their own) that the baby didn't really feel like their baby. They knew she was our baby. What a relief that was to hear. The birthmom also mentioned that it was such a relief that she got to meet us ahead of time. She said that she had hoped to find people like her to raise her baby and we were so much alike and that made her feel good. In fact, I can't believe I forgot to mention this on the blog earlier. The birthmother also chose Rebekah as the middle name for the baby. Remember, the birthmother is the baby's mother until she signs the papers so she had every right to name her and we wanted her to do that. It was just so amazing that we chose the same middle name. As far as the first name goes, they were very similar, even starting with the same first letter, but not the same.

We got to the hospital at 1:00 on Sunday and the social workers were upstairs helping the birthmom sign consent and we were to wait downstairs until they came to get us. They didn't come down until 2:00! I WAS A NERVOUS WRECK!!! I actually paced the waiting room! After we signed some paperwork, they took us up to the birthmom's room where she was feeding Ellie. We all just kind of talked for a while and the birthmom asked if I wanted to take her and I told her to take as long as she needed. She asked if I had a special outfit for her. You know I did. So we put her on the bed and changed her together. She got hungry again and so the birthmom asked if she could feed her some more. Again, I wanted to take as much time as she needed and while she was feeding her, the nurse came in to give us the discharge instructions. When the nurse was done, the birthmom gave me the baby and we both just started crying. I just kept hugging the birthmom and her mom---gosh I'm even crying now, thinking about it. We just really liked her so much and had so much in common, and that's what made it so hard to say "good-bye". Walking out the door with Ellie may be the most difficult thing I've ever done. I just felt so guilty. I know the birthmother made the choice for us to have this baby but I felt like I was taking her child. It's getting easier and I'll be able to pour out my emotions in my first letter the birthmother next week.

So-please remember that this birthmother is a beautiful person. She didn't get pregnant and plan for the adoption just for the money. I know there are some birthmothers out there who do that and many adoptive parents who get swindled but not this time. Choosing to place your baby for adoption has got to be the most difficult decision in the world and we should think of all birthmothers with respect and love. After all, without them, we wouldn't have 2 amazing, beautiful daughters!

Get used to it.

Sasha ended up in bed with me again last night. Around 1:00, Eliana started crying. She was hungry and had a dirty diaper. GASP! By the time I got her to the changing table, she was screaming. Sasha put the pillow over her head and said, "I'm trying to sleep!" It was so cute. I told her that Ellie didn't know any better and she was so hungry and was trying to tell me that. Sasha then walked over and tried to console her.

Poor Murray isn't getting much sleep either. He's very concerned about his baby. He doesn't like her to be alone and the second she starts to fuss, he's up and waiting for me to go get her. Dudley....well Dudley is still Dudley. He really doesn't care!

She is wonderful.

I'm actually talking about our birthmother. She has already forwarded a bunch of pictures to our agency to pass along to us. I just had to share this one. It is fabulous.

Much Anticipated Photos

Set 1

Set 2

A VERY QUICK update

More pictures to come later.

Things are going really well. I'm tired but that's my own fault. She's sleeping for 3 hours at a time but I couldn't sleep last night. Too much adreneline I guess. Took her to the pediatrician this morning and everything is good. She's gained 2 oz. from Saturday.

I just keep looking at her and am just amazed. Wow. I'm so sorry I missed this stage with Sasha. I can only imagine how cute she must have been. I know she would have been an EATING MACHINE--that's for sure. Ellie is a good eater so her big sister has already taught her something.

Sasha's doing great too. Everything is still a little new to her. In fact, she came down into bed with me around 5:30 this morning and fell right back to sleep. A few minutes later, Eliana made a little noise. Sasha sat up and said, "What's that?" I said, "That's your new baby," and she looked me at me, said "I'm going back to my room," and did! I don't blame her. We all need our sleep. She was so excited to see Eliana this morning when she woke up, too.

She is so alert. In fact, she's sitting in my lap right now staring at me or the computer. :)

Just because everybody is asking...

...We are registered at Babies R Us and online at Uncommon Goods.

Introducing....

Eliana Rebekah

Priceless

We just gave Sasha the good news. I honestly thought that she would just blow it off and pay more attention to the big present I was holding but she actually listened to what I was saying:

Sasha, remember yesterday we went to visit Miss R and her baby? YES Well, Miss R is looking for a family to raise her baby and she wants us to be the baby's family. We are going to bring our baby home today.

I could kick myself (if I could get my leg up that high) for not having Matt take a picture while I was telling her. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. Her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open and she screamed, "Yaaaaayyyy!"

That was definitely a moment, I'll never forget. I have a feeling that we're going to have a lot of those moments today. It's going to be a very emotional day. I am worried most about saying "Good bye" to the birthmom and her mother. That's going to be hard. It's certainly going to be a bittersweet moment.

By the way, the present for Sasha was from the baby. Baby Tree got her a Fisher Price digital camera. She's been taking pictures non-stop for the past 45 minutes now.

Almost Time!

We just got the call. We have to be at the hospital at 1:00. Hopefully by this evening, I'll be able to post a picture!

What happens...

....when your goofy dog gets into a roll of stickers? Dudley loves to rip up paper and couldn't pass up this roll of stickers laying on the floor.

Thank goodness I found him because he would have spent hours chewing it up.

She's Gorgeous!

We spent 2 hours with Baby Tree today. I held her the majority of the time. I even got to feed her and change her diaper. She's beautiful. She's so tiny. I can't wait to share pictures but I'm not going to until everything is final tomorrow. We think that tomorrow afternoon, we should be at the hospital signing paperwork.

The bmom looks great. She even referred to me as mommy to the baby. Even the birthmom's grandmother was telling me how they know that this is our baby. It made me feel so good.

They will call us tomorrow morning to tell us what time to be at the hospital.

Visiting Baby today

R is not being released today but we are going to visit the baby. Both R and the baby will be released tomorrow. Hopefully the baby will come home with us.

Argh!

Nightime events:
Asleep by 9:00 :)
Matt woke me up at when he got home around 10:30.
Back to sleep immediately
WIDE awake at 2:00 :(
Ate a banana
Still WIDE awake
Ate a Poptart
Still WIDE awake
Read for an hour
Back to sleep around 3:30
WIDE awake at 5:45
Still WIDE awake at 6:00
Gave up and read

Will you be the one

Will you? Will you be the 10,000th visitor to my blog? And, no you shouldn't just keep hitting refresh!


Tell me if you are! I don't have prizes or anything but I'll certainly give you a SHOUT OUT!

Hollllllaaaaahhhhhhh!

Wouldn't you agree?

Wouldn't you agree that if R was going to change her mind, she would have done so by now? Wouldn't you agree that she wouldn't ask for us to come tomorrow if she was even considering changing her mind?

Right?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Update

The agency just talked to R and both she and baby are fine. She "definitely" wants to see us tomorrow but may not be released tomorrow. If she isn't released, she has the option of signing consent (if baby is ready, we'll bring her home) or keeping the baby with her. It's still her choice. We will get a call tomorrow morning with more information.

Tom Petty is so right.

Tom Petty spoke to me through a song. I was on my way home, listening to MY classic rock station and his song The Waiting came on. I know the song is nothing about adoption but I just thought it was ironic because I'm having a VERY hard time today. The waiting IS the hardest part.

I have so much anxiety in me that I feel as though I may explode. All the moms I talk to at Sasha's school were so impressed with how calm I looked. Had they been able to look in body and actually see anxiety, they would have known the truth. I went to Barnies and ordered a large latte. Not a good decision. I'm already high strung and then I drank what felt like a gallon of latte. I tried to sit there calmly and read my book but as I sucked down my drink, I read the same sentence over and over.

I left to go find a gift for the birthmom. Had I been able to drive my car at 90 mph, I would have. In fact, I may have been able to run there at 90 mph. I went to this cute little botiquey store near where I used to teach. The first thing I see as I walk in the door, "I'm the big sister." shirts. Was that a sign? Yes, I got one for Sasha. I also a necklace for the birthmom. I love the style and she and I seem to have the same taste so hopefully she'll like it to.

I also found a card for her. The quote on the front says, "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." I thought that was so appropriate. Karma.

Then I walked aimlessly around the mall. I have NEVER walked aimlessly around a mall before. I was torn between breaking into song and running down the halls or bursting out crying and collapsing to the floor. Fortunately, when I was at most risk of exploding, I made it to the parking lot and came home.

And here I sit.......

She's here!

Baby Tree was born at 1:07 PM today. She weighed 7 pounds 1 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. Both baby and birthmom are doing well.

That's all the information we have.

Please do not send any congratulations. Remember, she is not our baby yet.


I was just at the grocery store and bought raw cookie dough. I'm pretty sure I'm going to just eat it all!

And, I bought a nice, trashy, cheesy "novel". Yes!

It's 10:41 AM

And all I keep thinking about is where the birthmother, R, is. What is she doing right now? How is she feeling? Is she sad, sick, happy, nervous, scared?

The worst part is that there is nothing I can do to help her right now.

I was too busy to post before, but now that I'm waiting...

...I thought I'd post a wedding picture. Matt and I just celebrated our 6th anniversary. So I guess that means we are beginning our "7 year itch".

With a newborn, I really don't think we'll have any time to be itching anything!

Oh my...Look at my big hair! That's all real by the way.

Well, I just have to post this.

Since I've been updating all along, I got this email from www.babycenter.com today and I have to post.


Our baby has really fattened up (I love fat babies). She likely weighs between 6 and 7 1/2 pounds now(well, that's not really that fat), and she's probably between 19 and 20 inches long. She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon feel when she wraps her little hand around your pinky! (Oh, I just can't wait.) Her organs are fully developed and in place, but her lungs and brain — though developed enough for her to function now — will continue to mature right through childhood.

Oh! Is it a sign that I got this email today? I think it is. I think it's a sign that everything is going to be A O K!

Thank you.

I know I said I was mentally exhausted but I've been inspired to write some more.

I have gotten several phone calls, emails, IM's and in-person good wishes. I just wanted to say that it means the world to me.

So, to all of our well wishers, whether you are neighbors, family, in-real-life friends or online friends, thank you. THANK YOU.

It really brings tears to my eyes knowing how many people are out there praying (to whomever you pray) for us.

Thank you. We love you all.

Good Lunch

I'm mentally exhausted but wanted to update everyone.

Lunch went very well. The birthmom's mother was super nice. Sasha was fairly well-behaved! The birthmother brought along a gift for Sasha (a Little Golden Book and a stuffed animal).

So far, everything is rolling right along but I'm still keeping myself grounded....trying....to keep myself grounded. Her c-section is scheduled for tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon and her mom should call the agency after everything is done and then the agency will call us. As of now, we are expecting to bring the baby home on Saturday afternoon/evening. We probably won't go to the hospital until AFTER she signs consent, unless she wants us to come sooner. I'm ok with that because I sure don't want to see the baby and then have her change her mind.

She said that at her ultrasound last week, the baby was measuring 7-7.5 pounds!

I'll update tomorrow when I hear something.