Ready for a laugh?

We talk about adoption a lot in our house, for good reason. I'm not sure if I posted about this before but a few months ago I was reading an adoption book to Sasha and it talked about how the mommy couldn't have a baby in her tummy. I told Sasha that I also couldn't have a baby in my tummy and she said, "Because your tummy is not big enough."

Well, we've been talking a lot about adopting a baby lately, also for good reason, and I told her today that we might be bringing home our baby next weekend. I said that another lady has a baby in her tummy but your mommy can't do that. Sasha replied, "Because you can't eat babies!"

Right now, Matt is trying to explain to her that a baby isn't really in a mommy's tummy. He then added (I'm sure you know where this is going) that when the baby is ready, it comes out of the mommy. And right on cue, Sasha asks, "Where?". Matt also explained that but that's even a harder concept to understand than eating babies!

Rooooaaaaarrrrr!

I also put together the Pack N Play yesterday. Of course, I had my usual helpers with me. I really think that Dudley would like to sleep in it if he could just get up there!

Christmas Pictures

This is Didi TRYING to tell her grandchildren to open one gift at a time. If you look closely, you can see Juliana is already opening one, Jake has his box open already and Kristopher is just getting started on one. I think Sasha is looking at Pap and saying, "What in the world is she thinking?"

Christmas morning was even more fun this year. Juliana is still a little young to quite understand what is going on but she sure did enjoy watching everyone else. Didi thought of a way to make it last longer. She put gifts in 3 different bags and gave one bag to each child. The gifts were all mixed up so the kids had to pass out the gifts. Well, it didn't really work, or at least, I didn't see it working. But maybe that was from the wrapping paper flying all over the place. Next year this time....OY!


For more pictures, click here.

I Am WOMAN!

I made this out of an extra curtain.

Well, not really. Really, I am a woman who is going crazy waiting for her baby. I am a woman who is not 9 months pregnant and perfectly fine to do heavy lifting. I am a mother who only has, hopefully, only one week, ONE WEEK?, to prepare for a baby.

I guess you could say I am nesting. What is it that kicks this biological urge into gear? What is it even that starts our biological clocks ticking? I can feel it in my stomach and no, it's not gas. It's just amazing to me how our bodies work. Are there some women who never get that feeling? Men certainly can't feel it.

Yesterday, I started organizing from the second I woke up. Well, first I had to unpack and clean the house from our week away from home but then I organized my closet. I started my sock drawer but had to stop for breakfast. Now, I don't know why I feel the need to organize my sock drawer but I do. Once the baby comes, I'll never be able to find my socks again?

After breakfast, I finally finished Sasha's room. It is so cute. I'd like to say I painted it myself but I didn't . I did, however, move all the furniture and hang all the artwork. Rooooaaarrr!

Birthday Pictures Finally

Sasha was just so amazed by the chef. Yes, that's great Nanny in the background!
Sasha eating MY birthday dessert.

I feel like a reporter

Update:

We are having lunch with the bmom and her mom next Wednesday. Sasha will also be attending.

Our caseworker talked to her this morning and said she sounds really excited about everything.

No baby today or tomorrow

The baby's lungs were not quite ready. The c-section is scheduled for next Thursday, January 4.

Sorry to keep you all waiting! We just got back from PA. Now leave me alone, I have to go unpack and CLEAN UP THIS HOUSE! We've got to get ready for a baby.

She is full term

Our birthmom is at 37 weeks, today.

Congratulations! Her pregnancy is now considered full-term — meaning our baby is developmentally ready to handle life outside the womb. Our baby probably weighs a little over 6 pounds at this point and measures between 19 and 20 inches, head to heel.

Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children are born blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies seem almost bald or sport only peach fuzz.

www.babycenter.com

Well, we definitely won't be surprised if our baby's hair isn't the same color as ours. An Elvis look alike could be pretty interesting.

Somebody please knock me out! Update #2

Just got another call from our caseworker. Our birthmother DID have an appointment today. Her tests WERE scheduled for Friday but now they are moved to tomorrow. Yes, that means the baby could be born TOMORROW. Or not.

So, if someone could knock me out until she signs the papers, I would appreciate it.

By the way, IF the baby is born tomorrow and IF the birthmother signs papers and IF the baby comes home in 48 hours, then whe will come home on our anniversary, on Saturday.

Ooops---I misunderstood

We just called our caseworker because we couldn't wait anymore. I guess I misunderstood what she had said. Our birthmother's appointment isn't until Friday and at that time they will test the lung function. If the lung function is good, then she'll have the baby on Friday.

More waiting. More anxiety. More emotions. More stress.
But it will be sooooooo worth it in the end!

No news as of 12:16 PM :(

I thought I'd be nice and let you know we haven't heard anything yet. I'm assuming some of you may be checking this blog obsessively today for updates (LAURA!). I'm obsessively checking my cell phone and our voicemail at home.


Still no news.

Even though I shouldn't....

...I just keep thinking.

I just keep thinking that next week this time I might be a mother of 2. I might have just put Sasha to bed and I might be lying on the sofa and I might be waiting for the baby to wake up for her bottle. I might be exhausted. I might be still grieving for our birthmother's loss and smiling at our gift. I might still be wondering what it was that made our birthmother and our family come together.

I've been pretty good so far. I have been holding myself back from getting too involved. I've been holding myself back from getting too excited about having another baby girl. As much as I want to be strong, I'm finding it hard to hold myself back now. Tomorrow we will find out if our baby is going to be born soon.

Even though I shouldn't... I just keep wondering what time our caseworker will call tomorrow. Will she say that the c-section is scheduled for Friday? I just keep wondering if I should sit by the phone or just go about my day. Will she be born on Friday? Will she be home with us by New Year's Eve?

And, I also keep wondering what the birthmother will be going through next week this time. Will she feel relieved that her baby is with us? Will she be sad or will she be ready to get her life back?

Dear Birthmother,
I just want you to know that your baby girl will be loved. We will love her with all of our heart. We will love her unconditionally.

She will have all the opportunities in the world. She will be given the chance to dance, sing, learn and love. I promise you have made the best choice to place your child with our family. Please don't wonder anymore. You have made the right choice.

You are in the right place! Don't be alarmed.

I've been wanting to change the format of my blog for a while. I just haven't taken the time to work on it. So welcome to the new look of "Born in Our Hearts". You are in the right place.

I've added links to some of my favorite blogs. I'll be adding more when I get home from PA but if you read my blog and never post a comment, let me know your blog site. I'd love to add you to THE LIST.

What did you just say?

I may not be able to post very often in the next few weeks (months or years---depending on how well 2 children treat me).

We got a call from our caseworker yesterday. Our birthmother has an appointment on Wednesday to check Baby Tree's lung function. If her lung function is acceptable, the birthmother will schedule her c-section for.....NEXT FRIDAY! Yes, in less than 1 week, LESS THAN ONE WEEK, we could be holding our baby girl.

Many friends and family members have asked us what we are going to do for New Year's Eve. We jokingly, but seriously, replied that we would be trying to stay awake to at least watch the ball drop on TV. I'm happy to say that we may be preoccupied with a beautiful New Year's wish!

My mom is younger than your mom!

I had a wonderful birthday. I convinced Sasha that I was 21 but I guess I was a little too convincing because she started arguing with people when they said I was older.

We went to a Japanese Restaurant where the chefs cook in front of you. Sasha was amazed. She was so amazed, in fact, that she now likes to pretend she is cooking Japanese style with every meal she has. Fortunately, she does not have access to chef's knives! Peanut butter and jelly has taken on a whole new meaning for her.

I will post a few pictures some other day.

Only 28 days to go!

Our baby is still putting on weight — about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds and is a little less than 19 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the creamy substance that has protected her skin during its submersion in amniotic fluid. Our baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, and they'll stay in her bowels until birth. This blackish mixture, called meconium, will become her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, our baby will be considered full-term. (Babies born between 37 and 42 weeks are considered full-term; a baby born before 37 weeks is pre-term and after 42 weeks is post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position by now, which is optimal for a smooth delivery.

www.babycenter.com

Well now, that's a relief.

I have trained Sasha well. We have been counting down the days until my birthday. This morning, the first thing she said to me was, "Tomorrow is your birthday!" She then asked me how old I will be to which I replied, "How old do you think I will be?" I honestly thought she would say I was somewhere between the ages of 4-7, her usual answer to that question. She thought for a while and correctly answered, "26". I will take that and I certainly didn't have the heart to correct her.

Your 26 year old friend,
Kristi

A Fantastic purchase

A few weeks ago, I was browsing through a toy catalog and something screamed, "SASHA!". I took a closer look at the page and I think I heard harps playing in the background when I saw IT.

IT is the "Fun Roller" and IT is what called out to me. This was Sasha's Hanukkah gift this evening and she played with it for 2 hours, non-stop. In fact, I had to make her come in and get a drink and go potty.

If any of you have children with an unlimited amount of energy, this is THE toy for you!

How old are YOU?

I've been feeling really old lately. Well, I shouldn't say lately, it's been going on for quite some time now. My most recent feelings started when I heard music that I used to listen to in COLLEGE on the classic rock station.

Yesterday morning, I was driving around in my car, singing out loud to one of my favorite songs from my college days. I was so excited when another of my favorite songs started playing right after that and continued singing out loud, banging my head. That's what we did to some of that music back then. When the song stopped, the announcer came on yelling, "96.5 YOUR classic rock station!" MY classic rock station? My CLASSIC rock station? Classic Rock used to be for my parents and now it's MY CLASSIC ROCK STATION!

So if I feel old, what do you think Sasha thinks about me? Growing up, I remember thinking my babysitters were old. They were in high school but to me they were senior citizens. If high school girls were senior citizens, then that makes me.....well that makes me DEAD!

Now here's the icing on the cake. Today, I went to the card store to buy Matt an anniversary card. I bought 2! I had found one but then got distracted by some other cards around the corner and found another one. The sad part is that they both say pretty much the same thing and I only got one envelope.

On Thursday, in Sasha years, I will be twenty-fourteen. That is ancient.

Stage Mom

I am a stage mom. I do not want to be a stage mom but I am. Sasha had 2 performances on Friday. On Friday night, I was in bed by 9:30! I was exhausted.

Videos here There are 5 videos because the site I use only allows you to download a maximum of 2 minutes at a time. Enjoy!

The Holidays Approach

The first of many many many cookies. That is her "best friend", Madison on her left.

Making reindeer food to sprinkle on the lawn on Christmas Eve.
I guess Santa doesn't share his milk and cookies.


The last of the many many many cookies eaten that day!

I haven't posted because we've been so busy. Sasha had her holiday party at school on Thursday and I volunteered to help.

35 weeks!

Can you believe it? I've never been pregnant but it really seems like time is flying by. Back when we first got the call, it felt like the baby would never be here. But now...well, next month this time, we could be parents to 2 beautiful girls. Wow. Woah! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :)


Our baby is getting big. She weighs a tad over 5 pounds (think bag of sugar) and is just over 18 inches long from head to heel. Of course, she's still curled up inside R: It's getting so snug in her womb that our baby isn't really floating anymore and she isn't likely to be doing somersaults. But tighter quarters don't mean less frequent movement; our baby should still be kicking at the same rate she always has. Our baby's kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete — the next few weeks are all about putting on weight.

Rescheduled Lunch

Don't know when but we have to reschedule. Our social worker and R's social worker have a meeting that day.

Still no c-section date either.

For those of you dying to know....

...Just like I was. Our next lunch with the birthmother, R, is next Friday, December 22. (One day AFTER my birthday in case you were wondering.) We are going to take Sasha with us this time and we are looking forward to the meeting. Who knows what will come out of Sasha's mouth, but we're willing to take that chance!

As far as what we're going to tell Sasha, we are still on the fence for that one.

Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers on the ready. If all goes well, we'll have a teeny tiny beautiful baby girl in, most likely, less than a month!


Wahoooooooooooooo!

Livin' The Life

This morning, I found Sasha reading a book to Murray. The other day, she spoon-fed him his dinner and this morning, he had breakfast in bed!

I do wonder what is going through his mind. Was he really listening to the story? It sure looks like it, although this is one of his favorite spots in the house so he could have been too tired to get up when she laid beside him.

When she spoon-fed him, did he realize that most dogs do not eat this way? Did he care?

Breakfast in bed! He was laying down the whole time too. I don't even get breakfast in bed.

You can't help but love Murray. He's just a big, fat loverdog and I think Sasha has finally realized that. She could step on his tail 100 times a day and he'll still give her kisses. (Dudley is still on the fence. It takes him a long while to warm up to people.)

It's funny to see her turn into a dog person just like her mom. Animal lovers run abundant on both sides of my family so it's been in my blood since the day I was born. As for Sasha, I'm sad to say that I don't know if anyone in her biological family is an animal lover but she sure has become one. Even though she spent almost the first 3 years of her life living in an orphanage, she is taking on characteristics from our family.

We went out to eat last night and I ran into a co-worker I haven't seen in years. She had no idea we adopted Sasha but we started talking and she asked why I wasn't teaching anymore. When I told her that I stopped working after we adopted Sasha, her jaw dropped. She had no idea and wouldn't have known had I not told her. I know I've said this before but we are so certain that Sasha was meant to be our child, even if she did take the long road to us.

Can you believe there is a movement out there AGAINST adoption? Can you believe this movement was started by people who had been adopted? I'm not even going to give them the glory of posting the link, but one person calls families like ours "artificial families", calls us "greedy" and "cruel", calls us "cheaters" and insists that I am "not a mother"!

Excuse me? I have been a mother for years. I have been a mother since the day we decided to start a family. The second Sasha came into our lives, I was a Mommy. When I read this article, it was all I could do to keep myself from emailing her and sharing my story with her, along with a few choice words. I'm assuming this woman never had trouble conceiving. I am also assuming that she has never heard of the women who she calls "mothers" who have abused/neglected/abandoned their children.

She's obviously never met our family and seen how Sasha has taken on traits of her MOTHER and FATHER (as well as extended family) without any of our genes running through her.

Funny Little Doggies

The Lion King

I have been wanting to see The Lion King on broadway forever. Well, it finally came to Orlando. I know that's not as good as NYC but it's the closest we can get right now. For some reason, when we bought tickets this summer, we thought that Sasha would enjoy the show. I'm not quite sure what we were thinking!

Actually, she did a fantastic job. The show was almost 3 hours long!! She was enthralled and barely squirming in her seat for about the first 15 minutes. It helps that the opening scene was amazing and we had great seats. As the show continued and there were breaks in between songs, she got a little antsy. We do really need to work on her stage whisper. She was very curious about a lot of things and felt very comfortable asking questions in a normal talking voice, even during the quiet moments. There were a lot of children there so I wasn't too embarassed.

After intermission, which she spent singing "Hakuna Matata" over and over, thouroughly entertaining the ladies in line for the restroom, she was just not that into it. Thankfully, I had packed, in her fuzzy purple purse, a lot of snacks. Sasha loves to eat. And when Sasha eats, she is very quiet and very still. During the 2nd act, we ate a pack of smarties, a bag of fruit snacks, a bag of Yogos, and a handful of Peanut M&M's (given to us by nice man behind us). It was all we could do to keep her in her seat! Then when the show was over, she started crying. EXCUSE ME!? "I really love that show. I don't want to go home." EXCUSE ME!?

I think for a while, we'll just stick with movies AT HOME!

By the way, the show was fantastic. The woman who played Rafiki during this show had the most amazing voice. She was definitely my favorite character.

I can't stop laughing.

Every year our neighbors go all out with the Christmas decorations. Some of them have had their lights up since before Thanksgiving. It's hard living in Florida and trying to get into the Christmas spirit because it's so warm. I really think people need that extra push to get in the mood. So, I think that if they hang their lights and decorations before Thanksgiving, it will begin to feel more like the holiday season to them, even if their lights are hung on palm trees and it is 80 degrees outside!

Anyway, we took the dogs for a walk tonight to look at the lights together. Sasha loves getting up close with all the little plastic decorations and blow up thingamajigs. As we walked past one house with a Nativity scene in their front yard, Sasha exclaimed, "Ahhhhh look Mom! They are having a picnic."

I dare you to stop laughing now!

Disappointment

I was so excited when UPS delivered our glider this afternoon. You know me, I had to rip open the boxes and put it together immediately. It was so easy to put together and I couldn't wait to sit on it and rock. IT IS TOO SMALL AND IT DOESN'T RECLINE!!!! I almost cried. I was so disappointed. I have to admit that it is my fault that it doesn't recline, I ordered the wrong type. But, the size, well, it's a good thing that I am not 34 weeks pregnant because there is no way I'd fit in the chair! We decided to get the extra wide so that Sasha could join me in the chair with the baby. The chair in my living room right now is not extra wide.

Matt is convinced that it is not the one we ordered. Maybe I'll let him argue with customer service tomorrow.

Certified with the certifiable!

We completed our 2nd class last night. Our first class was last Tuesday and it was "The Happiest Baby on the Block". That class was very informative. We learned how to swaddle and how to calm our baby. Matt has determined that if you can flip the baby around without the blanket falling off, you have properly swaddled your baby. I'm not quite sure how he will test his swaddling techniques on a newborn but don't worry, he will not be allowed to flip the baby!

Our 2nd class was "Baby Care". This class was added to the end of the typical childbirth class. Boy did I stick out like a sore thumb. All of the women were very pregnant and in fact, some of the men had gained some sympathy weight for their partners so they looked pregnant too. I am obviously not pregnant nor do I even look remotely pregnant. In my suspicious mind, I imagined every person there looking at me and wondering what in the world I was doing there. I would have done that! Unfortunately, we did not go around the room to introduce ourselves like in the first class so no one truly knew what I was doing there. I went to the bathroom at break and I know the other 2 women in there were secretly looking at my belly. Ok, enough about my paranoia, let me get on with the "certifiable"!

The nurse teaching the Baby Care class had just gone over at least 100 reasons why your baby should sleep on her back when an oh so attentive father raised his hand and asked, "What about if your baby likes to sleep on his side? Shouldn't you put him on his side to sleep?" I held in my laughter until the next question was asked, "Is it safer to put your baby in the front seat of the car or the back seat?" At that point I laughed out loud. Matt shushed me so I guess I guess I was a little too loud but really? Are these people REALLY going to be parents?

Are we more confident and knowledgeable because we've been preparing for kids for so long? Most of our friends have had babies and we have 2 amazing nephews and 1 beautiful niece so I guess we learned some through them. But, seriously, did someone really ask if he should put his child in the front seat?

Last but not least, sitting behind us was Mr. KIA (Know It All). Every time the nurse would mention something medical, he would chime in, "According to my research....". Now, I must admit, I am obsessive about some things and spend a lot of time online but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't argue with a nurse in front of 50 people!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Our baby now weighs 4 3/4 pounds and is probably almost 18 inches long from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. Her central nervous system is still maturing, but her lungs are well developed now. That's great news in case she decides to come early. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that 99 percent of babies this age can survive outside the womb — and most have no major long-term problems related to prematurity.

Officially 42 days to go. There has been no date set for the c-section but I will let all my blogland friends and family know as soon as we hear.

Free Comedy

I enjoy watching Sasha and her friends interact. In the beginning of the year they were all just a bunch of goofy kids running around, screaming and laughing. It's so obvious that they have all built relationships.

Kids do say the darndest things. Today, one of the boys came in as we were and Sasha said, "Hi Logan. Do you want to be my friend?" Logan replied, "For a little while." They walked to the gym holding hands. It's just so cute.

This just in....

Breaking news from Sasha:

"When I was a baby, I didn't like wind."

"When I was a little boy, I wore rainbows on my shirt."

Um. Well, ok.

Just Mommy

That's it. Just Mommy this weekend. Daddy and Sasha are on a trip to PA and I decided that I needed a Mommy weekend.

Hopefully soon, I won't have the option of having a weekend to myself.

This is actually the first one since Sasha came home with us so as much as I miss her, I have had a very relaxing weekend.

* Breakfast in bed watching MY MOVIE
* Nap
* Manicure
* Lunch ON THE SOFA watching the rest of MY MOVIE
* I went to dinner with friends and left a mess of my paperwork on the coffee table
* Stayed up late watching another KRISTI MOVIE
* Got up, let the dogs out and fed them, and WENT BACK TO SLEEP!
* One last MOVIE

Now it's time to get some work done. This house is not going to organize itself!