Just in case...

I have been researching adoption for the past few days. Researching my condition makes me sad, scared, and mad so I thought I'd keep myself occupied with something positive.

We are both getting very excited about the possibility of adopting. I have done most of my research on international adoption. Domestic adoption is just too scary with all the possibility of losing the child or the birthparents changing their minds. I have a student who was adopted last year from Russia and she is just wonderful. If we do adopt, I think this is the country we will go through. My heart cries when I see pictures of available children online. I want to bring them all home.

I've spoken to a social worker who was very helpful. She gave me the names of some agencies to call.

The journey begins

We wanted to start a family. We've been trying for a year to get pregnant and just found out that it's not going to be easy. I can't believe what I heard today. The doctor has assured us that I can get pregnant, but I'm just "special". Gee thanks. What an inappropriate thing to say.

I've always thought I'd be pregnant one day. I've been looking at maternity clothes for years and wondering how I'd look pregnant. I wondered how it would feel to have a child growing inside of me. Now, I might not have that chance. I researched my condition and it sounds scary. My heart is hurting.

Matt and I have discussed adoption before but we've always thought of it as a last resort. (I've always wanted to adopt but I thought we'd do it after we had our own children.) Now it sounds as though it may be our only option.